Growing Up- The Hard Way. . .

       This week in racing was a bit of a milestone.  NASCAR was at Darlington Speedway, INDYCAR is practicing at Indy, and The Grand-Am series was at New Jersey Motorsports Park.  First, congratulations to Max Angelelli and Ricky Taylor for another win the Daytona Prototype class, it makes their second in a row, and another surprising win for Chevrolet and their Corvette Prototype.  The Month of May is getting into full swing, with the INDYCAR Series having open practice at the speedway.  If you are a fan of NASCAR, you have to give credit to Rick Hendrick and his organization.  Hendrick Motorsports scored their 200^th win, making them only the second team in NASCAR history to win 200 races, and let’s be honest- Petty Motorsports raced in a time when you ran a lot more races a year; Hendrick Motorsports has done it in the modern day which has shown to be much more competitive.  I admire Rick Hendrick, because he epitomizes what all of the grassroots teams are trying to become.  It has been stated before that Rick may not always have known what to do in a given situation, but he knew how to get ahold of someone who did- and that is what makes him so successful.  Congratulations to Hendrick Motorsports.

            Last week we touched on why it’s not a good idea to wreck someone headlong into a wall after the race is over.  I hope we don’t see that again.  On a side note, after watching the NASCAR race Saturday night, I have to somehow get a sponsor to foot the bill, and then not have them care about results.  If only they would be ok with just letting me make laps instead of actually trying to be competitive.  Lets face it- the Cup series is where you should be getting most of your experience anyway, right?  If you watched the beginning of the race you should be able to pick up on my sarcasm.

            Getting back to my racing, and how after getting married- life returned to the long days and nights in the shop getting ready for the next racing season to start.  I had purchased a short track ARCA car from Bobby Gerhart in the fall of 2005.  I had convinced myself that I was going to be able to go racing at the ARCA level.  Today I look back on that decision, and wonder how I was able to look at my financial situation and still think I could do it.  If only dreams paid the bills, I’d be over in Indy practicing the fastest car at the speedway.  Sadly, dreams just make it harder to pay the bill sometimes.

            Christmas came and went, and so did New Year’s.  It was starting to become obvious that we would never make the first short track race in the ARCA Series.  Lack of money, resources, and people were making it impossible to achieve that goal.  This was also the time, were the relationship was reverting back to the strained and pressured state it had been only 6 months before.

            Most of the spring was gone and summer was starting to really get into full swing.  It seemed I was drifting further and further away from everything.  I felt my dreams of racing falling through my fingers, and the relationship with my wife was staring to really crumble.  When you make plans on decisions that were not fully thought out and rationalized, it makes it very hard grow those plans into reality.  It was the summer of 2006 that my wife decided that she no longer wanted to be married and left me.

            Now anyone who has been through a divorce, knows it’s nasty-mean-scary-heartbreaking, to say the least.  Normally this would seem like the part where I tell you about all of the mean and nasty things that she did during our divorce, but I won’t- because I just don’t have enough space..  Looking back at it though, it doesn’t seem like it matters now.  As I have put some time and distance on my marriage and divorce- I realize that it takes two to make it either work or fall apart.  I can see now how I was not ready to be married.  Most race car drivers are very selfish, not in a childish or mean way- but nevertheless selfish.  The sport takes so much time, that it makes it hard to have a healthy relationship with a spouse.  It doesn’t make it any more right, or any less embarrassing to know that I have failed at a marriage, but it is most definitely the truth.  Things happen for a reason, and I found strength it my friends and family, and relied on my faith to see me through.  It has made me look at things from a completely different point of view.  It made me grow up, and for me, it made me a better person.

            During the divorce, my racing career came to a screeching halt.  I had to park the race cars and concentrate on getting my life back together.  It did, however, make me even more determined to get back on track and continue to work towards my goal.  Since that time, opportunities have started to materialize, and now I am in a better frame of mind to make good on them.

            Next week we look at getting back on track, and how and why it changed racing for me.  I cannot believe how things are starting to come together here in the present day.  Stay tuned for some big news about our team, and as we look forward to our first races in June.  Check out our website, all of our happenings are posted there, and check back often- some changes are coming.  Check us out on twitter @justinonderko, and as always a big thanks to my sponsors, check them out on this page.  They really do make it all possible.  Till Next Week. . .